This will be my last post in the now strangely named ‘infertility category‘ but I will leave all posts up for posterity as a record of our experience and in the hope that it will give other childless and infertile couples hope that with the help of modern science, great doctors, nurses and midwives, they too can realise their dreams of having children..

Leon.

* UPDATE*

The baby’s name will be:

“Hanne Jane Quinn”

Its the Danish version/spelling of “Hannnah” which means ‘Grace’ or ‘Thanks’ which is appropriate considering we have a lot of people to thank for her arrival! Emer used to work in Denmark as a child minder and loved the country. One of the children she looked after was “Hanne”.

To quote my friend – “Welcome to the world Hanne Jane Quinn, we hope you enjoy your stay”

One of the first pics!

Eimear was and is brilliant.

A bit scared she’ll break!

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* UPDATE*

Thanx to everyone who voted!

And the winner is:

“Hanne”

Its the Danish version/spelling of “Hannnah” which means ‘Grace’ or ‘Thanks’ which is appropriate considering we have a lot of people to thank for her arrival! Emer used to work in Denmark as a child minder and loved the country. One of the children she looked after was “Hanne”.

To quote my friend – “Welcome to the world Hanne Jane Quinn, we hope you enjoy your stay”

Leon.

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Last week’s hospital visit uncovered yet more complications with high blood pressure, Strep B in the urine and a possible risk of Pre-Eclampsia. Nice!

I’m just winding up a couple of preggers books and feeling smug about all my new found technical knowledge re pregnancy’s and related activities which I’m sure will all go out the window around January 22nd!

It’s lookin like a caesarian section at this stage because of the Diabetes and Cysts but it might be a blessing in disguise. At least we’ll know where we stand and can avoid all the labour stresses. On the other hand, it is major surgery and will add to Emer’s already numerous pregnancy scars! We were wondering whether to opt for a horizontal or vertical cut if we have the choice. We’ll aim for a smiley face if we can!

On another note. I personally, being a philosophical type, have been trying to get my head around the whole grand concepts of New Life, Birth, Fatherhood, Responsibility and finally achieving our goal to have a child after all these years and I have to say I just can’t come to terms with it. It still feels unreal despite the recent scans, heartbeats and kicks and I don’t think theres anything that will make it real at this stage except being handed the baby in the delivery room! At that stage I might be wishing it wasn’t so real!

Anyway, Christmas is only going to get a quick passing nod and wink this year as we have more important things to look forward to!

Leon.

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Heres some of the better poses (the first one is probably our favorite with the baby’s arms under it’s head!):

[View with PicLens]

 

I must also mention the great hospitality and professional service of the staff at the scan center Ultrasound Dimensions in Blackrock who couldn’t have been nicer. The freshly baked cookies topped it off nicely, sorry for eating so many!

And heres a short video clip!

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Heres the head shot! Tip – turn your head to the right to make it out..

Heres a nicely formed foot!

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The scan photo reminds me of the one below from the Kubrick film “2001 – A Space Odyssey”!!

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The usual feelings of pre scan fear and then post scan renewed purpose and exitement after weeks of no symptoms abounded but we finally got to see some decent images of something that actually resembles a proper bubba. The next scan in a month or 2 will give better visuals as will the 4D scan we plan to do later on but for the minute the image below has blown our minds, seeing a hand (center left) and all its bones makes it real!

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Didn’t stop us being nervous just before the scan though and the nurse did say that we should be able to see a heartbeat but that sometimes there was no heartbeat and this wouldn’t be a good sign. We nearly shat ourselves. Nevertheless, almost as soon as the probe went in (hopefully for the last time ever – shes’s gonna miss that thing!) there was the heartbeat, strong and fast.

So finally its starting to seem real and we are coming around to the whole idea of being pregnant and being parents and I’m gonna start reading the books again which I had nervously stopped a while back. People keep telling us not to read books and that they are all different and contradict each other etc.. but we need some kind of info from somewhere – its unchartered territory and we aint got a clue!

Anyway, heres first contact and first real proof!:

Leon.

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For Stoopid men like me:
Make the result very obvious, ie – in a very clear, concise, impartial and matter of fact way, have the kit say vocally “You are/aren’t pregnant”.

For Women hoping to be pregnant:
Kit displays flashing lights and plays a bar of “Congratulations” or a nice soothing but mournful piece of “Violin music” if negative.

For Women hoping not to be pregnant after a night of recklessness:
Kit says “Phew, looks like you got away with it!” or “Oh oh, you’re in trouble”.

For the Bebo generation experimenting a little too soon:
Kits come with a selection of skins and cool ring tones behind the result message.

Just a few ideas, maybe theres huge market potential there. Maybe not!
Leon.

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I don’t know whether its because I’m a man or because I’m very non-emotional and ’scientific’ but even though my partner was sure the vague, faint red line in the positive window was a certain ‘+, I remained to be convinced. It took a phone call to the clinic to reassure me (pluse 5 test kits – all showing the same result!). I had predicted beforehand that I wouldn’t be able to tell for sure what the result meant and so it proved. Its amazing that a small, very simplistic piece of plastic could confuse me so much given that I work in a hi-tech field for a living!

So a whole new ball game starts today and while we know that being pregnant is absolutely NO guarantee that we will have a child in 9 months, its a start and it proves that we are at least capable. Some questions have been answered in the last few months!

More later.

Leon

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I finally feel of some use in this whole saga, my 80,000,000 sperm (yeh I know, is that all!?) done their job. It must have been the pumpkin seed advice and magic spells cast by my Wiccan friend. Thanks Draoi. This morning we got a call to say 5 of 6 had matured and they’re ready to get us back tomorrow to put a couple back in.

There should be some left over to freeze for the next time if there is a next time so we can avoid that horrible egg retrieval process. We actually had to go back to Galway yesterday to get my partner checked out because of the pain and breathlessness she was experiencing. Shes at risk from Hyper-stimulation (a killer) so we need to be careful.

We drove 5 hours for just 3 minutes in with the doc while he laughingly shook her belly to try to move the diagnosed wind and blood from her stomach!

Hopefully the embryos go in fine tomorrow and do their job – we were talking about our ‘babies’ last night all alone in a depressing petri dish in some lab. Poor things.

Leon.

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This time we have invested a lot more time, emotion, effort and money than previously and my partner has been sniffing and injecting for what seems like an eternity and its all for this one make or break week. We face several crucial yes or no moments in the next week or 2.

1. After the procedure to retrieve eggs will there actually be any?
2. If eggs are present will they get on with my sperm and be successfully fertilised?
3. If fertilisation occurs will the embryo insemination be successful?
4. Will the pregnancy test 2 weeks later by positive or negative?

The further we get along the road the more is at stake, worst case scenario being success with all the stages above accept for the last most crucial one..I can’t even bare to think about the state we will both be in if it doesn’t work out. Its safe to say we will be taking a break from life for a while!

And if by some miracle it does work I will be crapping myself for 9 months. The things we put ourselves through!

Heres a startling fact that we keep coming across which gives me great grounds for pessimism – even for couples that don’t have fertility problems the chances of getting pregnant  are only in the 30%’s max.

Leon.

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I had tried to get my partner into blogging and computing in general, and by extension try to give her some understanding of what I do all day (she thinks I play games!) by explaining that to write about your difficult experiences sometimes helps to heal. With blogging you can also help other people or just provide info and tips on whatever it is you know most about and boy do we know about infertility now!

So having failed in my attempts to lure herself into my dingy, nerdy world of computing I thought – why don’t I blog about infertility from my own, male perspective. I’m guessing there aren’t many men out there talking about their infertility experiences.

So this week we’ve been up and down to Galway from Leitrim (5 hour round trip) for scans. Shes on a sniffer 4 times a day to suppress her hormones as well as injecting herself, suffering mood swings, hot flushes and being invaded by strangers up on the stirrups in the clinic. Me, I just sit there feeling guilty for getting off lightly! It is said that men have it easy in fertility treatment (unless the problem is on their side, then things can get particularly nasty!) but the difficulty for men comes in the form of the afore mentioned guilt and having to deal with VERY highly strung partners with hormones all over the place.

For any men reading this and hoping for some advice in dealing with a situation like this, forget it – I’m still trying to figure out how best to deal with it myself but the general consensus is that men just need to be sponges for their partners – be supportive, accompany them to the clinic all the time (I’ve only missed one out of dozens so far) and spoil the other half as much as possible with flowers, chocolates, holidays, etc…something I need to work on so she says!

Heres some sites with more info on Infertility in Ireland:

The Final Countdown (Blog)

www.irishinfertilitysupportforums.ie  (a site I support technically)

Good luck to all affected , more from me on this later.

Leon.

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